Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
