Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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