Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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