Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Randomize
