Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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