We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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