this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
