So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
