I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
