do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So vagazzling was a success
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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