Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
