Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
