she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Your penis caused this!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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