I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
