a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is it because I queefed?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize