So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
