You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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