She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
