You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
my poor anus
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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