just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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