So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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