I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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