The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
