She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
