You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I am midnight drunk by noon
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize