Just cropdusted the office
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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