Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
