My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
