idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
