So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm both gender and math confused
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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