Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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