just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize