It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
