Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
