I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize