So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
