if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
