She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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