the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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