Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
