I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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