i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
