Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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