Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
