I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
this is an emotional support booty call
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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