i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
