I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
