I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He better not be in your backpack
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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