the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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