I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize