just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
