she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
