there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You smell like stripper and shame
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
