so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
