Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
