ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
