How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
