I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
