should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
