yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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