He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
