do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
