GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
