O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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