I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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