What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
