Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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