This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
why is half of my head shaved?
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